Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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