I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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