hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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