is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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