do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
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How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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