Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize