So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
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bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
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We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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