Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
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sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
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Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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