Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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