So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
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He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
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It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
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