There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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