I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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