I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize