apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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