I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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