I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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