Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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