i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He did a backflip because drugs
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