he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
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My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
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The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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