we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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