just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
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That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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