Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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