I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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