I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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