So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
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She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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