im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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