I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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