dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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