My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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