But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
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Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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