I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize