all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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