Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize