i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
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