Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize