By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Btw I puked in your glovebox
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize