This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
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I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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