Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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