so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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