I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize