He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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