i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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