did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
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I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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