Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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