I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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