I have demons in me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Mom said you looked used
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
