maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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