Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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