do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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