I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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